New Zealand Yearns and Gurns
Sometimes this country puts out killer records, and sometimes you get stuck in the back of a smoko area hearing shit riffs on some punisher's phone. Let's talk shit on both those things.
05.02.26
Desoration subsidising TRT injections for wayward nerds
Ever wonder what would happen if a Christchurch band wrote Event Horizon fan-fic? Well wait no longer friends, Desoration is here to get you to sign up for their Substack
07.10.25
Oh Blindfolded's drummer has a six pack, you think you're better than me?
Craig did a deep dive into Anthony Coota's YouTube channel to answer the age old question, how much protein power does it take to not be a prog band.
27.03.25
distance and their never-ending quest to give nerds confidence
After months of research, Craig is ready to discuss the social phenomenon of why every post-rock fan has low-T, poor self-esteem and leaves their dad on seen every time he messages.
07.05.24
I smoked Borer once now my family hates me
Craig perilously goes where no white man with a beard has gone before, into a room by himself to listen to a doom record. Brace yourself for his stunning and brave tale.
28.03.24
Libbianski sitting you down to explain why your mum left your dad
Craig went on a 2 month undercover operation to infiltrate the weird world of Shoegaze to finally answer the question, is Shoegaze a Russian psy-op to sell Jordan 1's to teenagers. The results will shock you
6.12.23
Plague of the Fallen stopped paying rent and won't leave my house, send help.
Craig takes a look into the deep world of Plague of the Fallen's the high concept view of death metal, that high concept being taking heaps of pre-workout before bed.
12.07.23
Abysm won't stop sending me PlayStation friend requests
Notorious spawn campers Abysm have finally decided to finish their can of G-Fuel and release their EP. Craig spent the weekend reading up on Elden Ring lore so he could see if their lyrics make sense canonically
21.06.23
Mammuthus need to stop driving spots for my mum
Craig investigates the weird world of stoner rock to finally figure out what it is that is making everyone's mum smoke weed now.
14.06.23
Methfacts don't care about your Methfeelings.
What do you know, Craig found someone as bitter and bored of shit as he is and asked him to write some stuff on Gone for Smokes. After he said no, Craig threatened to leak all his DMs to the media. On that note, Matt sat down to digest just how much meth is too much meth for Jesus to ingest.
10.05.2023
Rejecting Handshakes - A Blindfolded and Led to the Woods Story
Craig talks through his time with the new Blindfolded and Led to the Woods album 'Rejecting Obliteration' and manages to not mention that kids show they were on 25 years ago once.
10.05.2023
The Insatiable Drummer who could - Dark Divinity Strikes Back
Craig seeks to find the answer to an age old question, if a drummer writes all the guitar parts for an album in the woods and no one is around to care, will they buy the vinyl?
10.05.2023
Planet Hunter must be stopped, they can't just invent words
Craig has to google what the word Moscovium even means after Planet Hunter display enough arrogance to call their album that.