Blindfolded and Led to the Woods
The Hardest Thing About Being God is That No One Believes Me
Review by Craig Leahy
Hey quick heads-up, this is a long one man. Grab a coffee and a cig and settle in. With the state of some of your guys' grasp on the English language, you’ll for sure be here a while.
Look, before we get into this album, I have something to get off my chest. Why in the fuck is it that every time I talk about this god damn band, they’ve committed some form of social etiquette injustice against me, like a direct attack on me and my honour.
When I reviewed Rejecting Obliteration, I told the story about old fuckin’ Stu ‘Lord of Produce’ Henley-Minchington metaphorically spitting in my face by choosing to eat an apple over shaking my hand having not seen him in years, real big dog shit that, actually, you know what? I admire him for it.
Really put me in my place, I can be a lot sometimes.
(if you missed the story, you can read it on my Rejecting Obliteration review found HERE)
So, this time around, I’m just over here minding my own business being a semi-retired mosh-dad out in God’s Country, Stokes Valley. Literally, all I do with my time these days is lift weights in Himbo Gym and hang out with my daughter, the fuckin’ dream man. One morning, I’m working from home the only way a true loser knows how, by spending 80% of my workday on Ableton making a Bjork remix, when I get a message.
The message is from everyone’s favourite guy who fills your timeline up with cricket shit you don’t understand but you’re just happy he’s happy, Nick Smith. Nick asks me if I received the promo copy of the new Blindfolded record yet. Once it came through, my interest in anything that wasn’t Blindfolded immediately waned.
I’ve never hidden the fact that I’m a giant fan of Blindfolded and Led to the Woods, I’m in my late thirties, of course I love Blindfolded and Led to the Woods. In the year of our lord 2025, casual Friday’s at corporate jobs are 85% bearded 36 year olds wearing Blindfolded shirts insisting that nah nah they know how to get good espresso shots out of the shit coffee machine, sounds like banter, but I assure you I have been that exact guy more than once. So now I’m fuckin’ amping, immediately downloaded the album and chucked it on my DAP (I bought a DAP, so now I get to be condescending and say cancel your fucking Spotify, you AI enabling dorks). While it’s downloading, I go onto the boys’ Facebook pages to see what they’ve been posting about the album. I go to the most beautiful man in the world’s profile, Stace. Stoked to see what the cutie has been posting about the album, and then I see it, the dreaded button, ‘add friend’.
This motherfucker un-friended me.
The guy who I referenced as ‘charming as fuck, and always seemingly begging for a cuddle’ in my last Blindfolded review went to my profile, saw my beautiful aging millennial profile picture, and thought ‘you know what? Fuck no, not this guy, not anymore.’
I go straight back to my DM with Nick and say to him, I’d love to review the album, but I'm going to call Stace the fuck out. Apparently, Nick messaged Stace to ask why he un-friended me, to which Stace replied ‘Oh nothing personal, just un-friended people I haven’t hung out with in ages - he’s a GC’
Literally what the fuck does GC mean in Christchurch? ‘Good Candidate to betray’ or some shit.
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Fuck man, I ADORE this band, but I can’t lie, the escalating social attacks on me have me fearing what they’re planning for their next retaliation against me, how fucking far do they have to go when they release their next album? Hey Coota, I’ll give you my address and you can come run my dog over with your car or some shit, is that sufficient?
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Pictured above - Blindfolded's next victim, Patrice.
Okay, you know what, I’m fine, it’s cool, I can be un-biased, I’ve been dumped before, albeit never by anyone as pretty as Stace, but hey, what can you do?
Probably review his new album or something.
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So generally, when I listen to albums that come into the Gone for Smokes inbox, I give them a few listens while taking notes, take a break for a bit, then give them another couple of listens while checking notes and seeing if my feelings about the album have changed. This one was a bit different. After about a week with the album, I had given it 11 spins without taking a single note. This album instantly fucking captivated me man, like properly consumed me the first week I had it. I thought about riffs while I was cooking dinner, Youtube’d ‘how do gravity blasts’ work multiple times (still have no idea), I sang a couple hooks to my daughter at bedtime and every-time I lifted weights for the last couple weeks I had this fuckin’ thing blaring.
I’m not even sure where to start with talking about it, so I’m just going to start typing then deal with structure later, or not, I don’t care, and if you’re reading a long-form review of a death metal album, you’re clinically depressed and you don’t care either.
I’ve been pretty fucking open with how much I love 'Rejecting Obliteration', I think it is my favourite death metal album to ever come out of New Zealand, and it dropped at a time of my life where I’d just gotten engaged, my fiancé was pregnant and we’d just moved into our first house together, so it’s also hugely nostalgic for me, and brother, I’m sentimental as FUCK so you know I’m gushing over this shit to people on casual Fridays at the office.
Blindfolded are one of those bands that every album so far has been a noticeable step up on the last - production, songwriting, musicianship and intensity all somehow seem to grow as new albums drop. Going into ‘Hardest Thing’, it had A LOT to overcome to be considered a step up on ‘Rejecting…’, and while I’ll go into each of these things in more detail a bit later-on, the short answer is that Blindfolded are still those annoying nerds that somehow play better each album, stop fucking practicing your instruments, be a man and play Hollow Knight Silksong like the rest of us, it’s on Games Pass for fucks sake.
The first thing I noticed is that the album is bookended by two 7+ minute tracks, which makes you feel like they’ve absolutely leaned into their progressive elements, and after jumping into the album, I can tell you they absolutely have. And while they’re embracing some of the more prog-leaning compositional choices, they’re still so grounded in being a beat up your dad after school death metal band that I would hesitate to call them progressive death metal (mostly because that’s a corny-ass genre tag) but man they have clearly put significant emphasis on structuring actual narrative and tension within these songs as opposed to just sick riff, sick riff, blergh, slow riff, sick riff.
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There’s been a tonne of changes in the Blindfolded camp, with drummer Tim Stewart and guitarist Ben Atkinson moving on from the band after the release of Rejecting Obliteration. Two MASSIVE spots to fill, both these boys bought all kinds of violence to Rejecting Obliteration, with that being said - Blindfolded decided to do what any band in this situation would do… find members from as far away from their city as possible to make having a non-zoom band practice just fucking impossible. Joining the zoom meeting first, we have the absolute powerhouse Anthony ‘two scoops of protein powder’ Coota from Adelaide, Australia on drums and Dan ‘always thought I was a post-rock guy’ Hayston on second guitar, a fucking monster guitarist in the Wellington scene.
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And I think it’s worthwhile calling out these new additions to the lineup early, primarily because this album hits majorly different to Rejecting Obliteration. Now, I’m not sure on the timeline of the boys joining and the actual writing of these songs, but regardless, this Blindfolded feels like a more fleshed out, more mature and a more focused Blindfolded than we have seen on any of the previous records. Like, fuck, before I say what I want to say about some of the compositional choices, just let me preposition something.
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If you’re a big weird death metal dork looking for a death metal album that won’t judge you for wearing shit cargo shorts to Christmas dinner, then yes, this album will absolutely scratch an itch, but also so will a skincare routine, come on man you’re in your thirties now you kind of have to start exfoliating eventually. While the core of this band is and will always be a death metal band, this album is seemingly designed to push the expectation of what a Blindfolded composition can be. Don’t get me wrong, these guys have always fucked around with progressive elements, but this album has moments that would feel at home on an Igorrr record, and I’m happy to say, it is kind of amazing. Take the last riff on the track 'Red', this riff intentionally sets out to answer the age-old question ‘what if Igorrr went to Riccarton High?’ it’s dizzying, visceral and does not give a fuck that it’s pushing you over the centre line while you’re driving.
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And while all the bicep flexing nods to classic death metal are still present, the way this album has pushed their songwriting forward, Blindfolded are feeling like they would be at home on a Blood Incantation show now.
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Alright man let’s talk about musicianship a bit. As mentioned earlier, there’s an ongoing trend in the Blindfolded camp of taking whatever their last release was, sitting down with a clipboard, doing heaps of coke and listing all the ways they can make every guitarist in New Zealand feel like absolute shit while listening to their next album. If there are any nerds reading this review, someone hit me up about programming a script to track Google trends in New Zealand for the phrase ’33 and my band sucks, should I stop’ once this shit drops, because I think the number will be massive. Dan’s guitar work here was a massive revelation for me, I’ve known Dan is an amazing guitarist for a long time, but jumping into a band like Blindfolded, replacing a guitarist like Ben is no easy task.
His playing compliments Stu insanely well, and with all we’ve learnt about Stu over here at Gone for Smokes, he’s not an easy man to compliment. Their dual guitar attack is overwhelming, precise and filled with intent.. I can’t think of a single minute on the album that one of the boys wasn’t doing something that caught my ear and demanded more attention on the following playthrough. This kind of music can very quickly turn into self-gratifying bullshit that serves no one except the person playing it, but Stu has always had a knack for writing and structuring songs that always tow this line, but always remain locked in, full of intent and serving the actual song as opposed to the ego. Tracks like 'Arrows of Light' and 'Red' very much redefine what you should expect from a Blindfolded record moving forward, not only do they push the band further compositionally, but honestly man, they’re fucking heavier. Tracks like 'Compulsion' and '600 Milligrams' rank among the heaviest tracks that this band have ever done, and as a package none of this is jarring, there is no feeling of ‘oh here’s the prog song and there’s the Cannibal Corpse knock-off’ it's all uniquely and emphatically just Blindfolded and Led to the Woods.
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Carrying on discussing the new additions to the lineup, we come to Coota. Replacing someone in a rhythm section as notoriously good as Tim and Nick was always going to be a challenge, so Blindfolded continued to do what any band in their situation would do, find the drummer with the most sponsorships as possible to make their gig posters hectic as fuck with god damn’ tyre sponderships whatever the fuck those logos are. Man, tell you what, I was straight up sceptical too, I’d seen Tim live more times than I could count and I really didn’t know how Coota was going to go, he was stepping into an already established dynasty of a band, with a tonne of prestige. I’ve seen them live a couple times with Coota on the skins now, and I got put in my place pretty quick man. Coota is a ridiculously heavy hitter,does big fat gravity blasts but more importantly, has just fuckin WASHBOARD abs bro, are you kidding me? Need to tune your snare drum? Ping a fuckin’ 50c coin off that six pack of piccolo sounding bitches and your snare will sound as good intended, like Coota’s cum gutters.
There’s only one man flexible enough to get in the pocket of the jeans on that tight little ass, and that’s Nick. I don’t know what there is to say about Nick that hasn’t been written 100 times before, the dude is a behemoth. Obviously there are flourishes of Alex Webster in tracks like 'Arrows of Light', but the majority of the time Nick is one of the driving reasons that Blindfolded stay firmly grounded in their attack. He’s the kind of bass player that you don’t even realise how ever present he is until you’re completely enveloped in low end. Nick is the most versatile bassist currently active in New Zealand. He has a commanding presence that always feels like he’s the one setting the pace and dynamic of the track, he’s always exactly where he needs to be frequency range and syncopation wise.
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Can we quickly just talk about the title of this fucking album man? Blindfolded have firmly established themselves as a serious, almost esoteric presence in death metal in New Zealand, but it wasn’t always this way, they used to look cummy as fuck man. Real full sugar Monster Energy vibes with titles like ‘New Shirt and a Fade’ and ‘You’re Just Like Captain Planet But With Less Friends’. I do wonder how many deathcore kids saw the album title and got excited that the boys had stopped washing their clothes and started singing about wanking again. Just so we’re clear, if there is any of you hoping that the title being kinda humorous meant that they were bringing back wearing too much hair-gel, I hate to be the one to disappoint you, they’re not. And man, once you hear Stace belt the phrase ‘The hardest thing about being god is that no one believes me’ like 50% of Twitter users who just found out Bad Bunny is an American citizen during the hook of the title track, you will understand how fucking hard this title is. Sincerely, I have not stopped singing this hook to myself since the first time I heard it
Undisputed tough guy shit.
While we’re talking about that internet terrorist Stace, let’s have a chat about his vocals. I’m just going to say it outright, for my taste in heavy music, I think this is far and away Stace’s best performance on an album I can’t tell if it’s something he’s actively doing or potentially the mix of the album but the vocals here are a touch more raw than they have been in the past, there’s moments where you can hear him pushing through his voice breaking under the intensity of his phrasing, shit like that does infinitely more for me as the listener compared to the ultra-processed gutturals you hear a lot in modern releases.. His phrasing feels more syncopated and intentional than it has in the past, it doesn’t take long before the future mayor of Christchurch takes charge of this thing, at the end of the first track 'Arrows of Light', there’s a passage where Stace menacingly decrees,
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“I look to the stars for reassurance and realise that this is a futile act of unwarranted desire, and the atoms that comprise the giant, nuclear kings I've called upon don't wield the faculties of empathy"
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These lyrics are repeated over and over again with intense conviction while Stu, Dan, Nick and Coota created a hypnotic soundscape that eventually consumes you, every single time I’ve listened to this song I’ve stopped what I’m doing to get lost in what is clear Stace embedding some kind of Manchurian Candidate sleeper agent type shit so next time I’m in Christchurch someone just has to whisper those lyrics in my ear and point me towards the camo shorts store and give me an Organectomy vinyl or some shit, fuck guess I’m a Christchurch guy now.
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Pictured above - A man looks to the stars for reassurance and realise that this is a futile act of unwarranted desire, and the atoms that comprise the giant, nuclear kings I've called upon don't wield the faculties of empathy
There’s a track named 'Totem' where Stace shows vulnerability in a free-time, almost god damn Pageninetynine (!!) style passage, this shit really landed with me man, I’m a big fuckin’ baby so anytime I hear someone even hint at vulnerability I’m out here claiming I can fix him.
I think Stace’s presence both live and recorded is such a big asset in Blindfolded staying so grounded firmly with death metal fans in New Zealand, especially if they do decide to push the progressive elements even further on the next record. He’s very much hit his stride as a lyricist, I was given a document with all of the lyrics to the album inside. Not gonna lie, reading other people’s lyrics usually makes me cringe to death, but Stace has this poetic and introspective way of writing that really strikes me. He has foresight in his lyrics, for example there were lyrics in the first track that reference the last track. He shows vulnerability with lyrics in tracks like Compulsion, and crafts violent scenes effortlessly on tracks like 600 Milligrams. His lyrics stand apart from a sea of death metal lyricists, and I'm not talking about only in New Zealand. The way he crafts a narrative puts him in the same conversation as someone like J.R. Hayes from Pig Destroyer, or Trey Azagthoth/David Vincent from Morbid Angel.
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Actually, fuck, just quickly while we’re talking about vocals, dude, we have to talk about Hera. The album finale is a monolith titled 'Coalescence' in which the boys present a deluge of shifting tempos, unrelenting sections for the push-moshers out there, just a fuckin’ barrage of dissonance building up to what feels like is going to be the most rib crushing crescendo… when like, what actually happens is a really beautiful and introspective passage? Not gonna lie, did not expect that one bit, haha. The last three minutes on this album are completely owned by Hera, and Icelandic singer who now has residence in Christchurch. She brings ethereal tones and a sense of ennui to bring the general tone back from violence, and send it toward a general sense of malaise, especially when she laments with the lyrics ‘This cold world’. Hera’s performance is fucking beautiful man, I cannot even begin to express how much I fell in love with her vocals. I’m literally listening to her solo material as I type this review, if you’re interested, please don’t hesitate to check out her material HERE.
And if someone can ask her if she will let me remix a bunch of her vocal stems into harsh Death Grips inspired pop music, that would be awesome. Man, I wonder if Hera likes Death Grips? If she doesn’t tell her I’ll meet her in the middle and remix it into Merzbow meets Animal Collective, but that’s my final offer.
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You know I was chatting to Nick last week about my thoughts on the album, I quickly shared some of my thoughts and things I was really loving. He made a point of telling me that he’s interested in any critiques I have on this thing. When I started writing album reviews I specifically reviewed albums I hated, nowadays I only review albums I like, so I tend to focus on all the shit I love, and when thinking about any real criticisms I have about Blindfolded’s latest offering, there’s really only one, and it’s so specific to me that a lot of people will read this and jeer and the thought. But man, I can’t believe I’m about to say this…. I really want more prog out of these guys on their next record. I’ve screamed until I’m blue in the face about my distaste of prog so I’m genuinely shocked I feel this way, however the compositions here are SO god damn strong and the two 7+ minute tracks on either side of this album and a couple of tracks that when they finished I was really wishing they had a couple of extra minutes to breath and let me absorb the thick atmospheres, it got me wondering, fuck what if these guys just let loose. I’m talking full 13+ minute monsters, repeated motifs over the album, Stace leaning into his philosophical and majestic lyrics and going full theatrical concept, he’s already experimenting with motifs from what I can tell too. Man, I think it would fucking rule, and no one is doing it in New Zealand. Between the Buried and Me dropped Colors II a while back and it fucking stunk, imagine if Blindfolded release Colours III as their next album and we all just left Between the Buried and Me back in 2009 where they belong.
Look man, I don’t know what to tell you. For the cultured gentleman in his thirties who is confused by slam-death metal, there is no one doing death metal better than Blindfolded and Led to the Woods in New Zealand. But also, the gentlemen in their thirties seeking out progressive death metal is widely known as the dork who gets too analytical when listening to an album like this, I mentioned earlier that I gave this album 11 spins without taking a single note, and man I think that’s the best way to absorb what this thing is trying to portray.
This album rewards patience, repeated listens and just letting it completely fucking punish you. It is physically trying to overwhelm you with its narrative and atmosphere, fucking embrace it. Let yourself be consumed by its overwhelming and celestial environments and I promise you it will be an all-encompassing presence in your ongoing rotation.
Albeit, the album will also make you less fun at parties, harder to make eye contact with and prone to being sucked into the prog-sphere, but those are risks we should all be willing to take, especially now that Mike Portnoy is back in Dream Theater.
The Hardest Thing About Being God is That No One Believes Me – 5/5
Is it my favourite Blindfolded record? You know what, I don’t know, I think that will become more apparent in time as it’s going to be in rotation for quite some time, as Rejecting Obliteration still is also.
Is it however the best Blindfolded record?
Yes.
At the time of posting this review, the boys are set to head off tomorrow on a tour of the US. I don't know man, maybe it's because I'm finishing this review at 5am listening to Charlie Parker under the heat pump, but I have to express how proud of these guys I am, and I'm pretty sure I'm speaking on behalf of the entire New Zealand metal scene when I say that too. Go and tear shit up boys, and when you're done make sure you come straight back and give us the follow up record, 'Colours III: Between the Add-Friend Button and Me'
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The Hardest Thing About Being God is That No One Believes Me can be pre-ordered HERE on CD, no vinyl pre-orders at this point but I understand they're on the way, and I will most definitely be jumping on one when they are here.​
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For anyone who has been adversely affected by Stace’s recent unfriending spree on Facebook, EAP help is available through the links found HERE.
Tell them Craig sent you and use the code ‘betterhelp25' and hit 'accept cookies' for 20% off and to lose all rights to your data, which will in turn probably allow Facebook to only advertise Blindfolded and Led to the Woods in your timeline, perpetuating this cycle of misery.
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God I miss him.
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